u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
