He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
