He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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