My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm just crazy horny about you
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
