my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
