whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
