All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
