Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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