Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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