It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I love you.
Bad choice
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
