Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
