all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
