I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hippo gnu deer
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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