Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
