you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
