your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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