In the future we'll all be gay
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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