soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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