I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
