I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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