i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
