Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
