the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
