They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
