U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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