honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
