Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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