She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
