unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
