I'm jealous of your bromance
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
