im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
