Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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