I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
