plz talk dirty to me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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