I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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