lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
