OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
