You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I am one with the molecules
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
