ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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