I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
