I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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