the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
