I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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