Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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