HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
