I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
