areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Pants are for mortals
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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