her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
