There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
