Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
