when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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