I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
