porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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