Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
